Oh, hey, dinner.
I mean, deer.
Way to miss, asshole.
That kind of hurt a bit.
Aha! Bravil!
..What's that noise coming from the bay?
...Huh. Do guards just kind of die when I get close?
Whatever, I'm stealing his stuff.
Nice place, if a little run-down.
I don't know, I haven't been there.
Hm...
Exploring time!
Eh? What's this?
I'll have to come back here later.
...I could use a house.
...I do not trust this bridge. Not in the slightest.
...I didn't even say anything.
You kinda just started yelling at me the moment I walked in the door.
Actually, I needed to buy a house.
...I was told to tell you that... Lachance has made... arrangements.
Yes. I know, I have been there.
It smells really bad. Did somebody skin a cow and leave it there?
Lachance. Arrangements. Get on with it.
Splendid.
Will do.
I could also eat off of your cold, dead corpse.
Give me the key.
Ah, the number one form of entertainment amongst guards.
Navel-gazing.
I cannot believe that actually worked.
I have a panic room!
Ehehe, I'm in the closet.
Ooh, a double bed.
I can sprawl as much as I want.
Arrangements with Lachance.
Hm. If I pray to her, will I get lucky?
...I am really bad at this.
...WHERE ARE MY TOMATOES
I DEMAND TOMATOES TO MAKE MY HOUSE LIVEABLE
THIS IS UTTER BULLSHIT
Whatever, I'm taking a nap.
...
...I will never get used to that.
I need sleep.
[several hours pass]
...What the hell is that noise?
...It's coming from outside the gates.
...The bay?
...What the cocks.
...That island was not there yesterday.
I hate water.
It's wet.
...It's glowing? Some sort of portal perhaps?
...Well, I'm freaking out now.
Odd. This requires further investigation.
...Most curious.
Not if I kill you first!
YOU DON'T SAY.
Ah, so it's a portal?
Hm. Perhaps it requires somebody... sexier. Somebody like me.
...Wait, wrong?
...Intriguing. I'm going to go in and look for clues.
Yeah, interdimensional transport does tend to result in queasiness.
...The fuck was that?
...This voice is familiar.
...Wading through entrails? I think I could do that.
...The Isles?
This all sounds very familiar.
...Can I leave a message?
Well, here we go!
OH GODS
THE PUKE
IT'S EVERYWHERE
Yes, I am. Now, who are you?
...Oh.
I'm in Sheogorath's realm.
This should be plenty of fun.
Why's the door here, though? Why now?
Hm. Would this be a wise decision, d'you think?
I can imagine. Prince of Madness and all.
This is true. What about Asshole McDead out there?
...That sounds pretty fair.
Fortunately, I'm prepared for everything.
What do I do now?
So, if I go through the door...?
Unless they're being made by a creepy old emperor, yeah.
...I can't help but feel I'm being mocked.
I'll do it.
I'm sure I will.
I'm good at getting what I want.
...That sounds ominous.
...Huh.
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