Rakk Country Update 2: Trick Question The Answer Was Mordecai

 Look lady, you are getting really annoying.
"Act like nobody's talking to you."
Bit difficult, that is.

 "I know you have no reason to trust me..."
That's why I'm not.

 "...Just talk to the Robot."

 "I'll talk to you later."
...What an utterly unhelpful bint.

 Hey, asshole.  Open the door.

 Thank you.  Good luck or whatever.

 ...Oh hey, a robot, what do you know.

 "Hello!  I am Claptrap!  Take this!  It's a heads-up display courtesy of Dahl Corporation!"
How... oddly convenient.

 There we go, now I'm ready to rock.

 "Follow me!"
Robot, I've got a bloody huge sniper rifle, and you're calling the shots?

 "This is a New-U station!  It gives you the best in-"

 "...Uh... Please proceed to examine the station at your leisure."

 Right, let's see here...

Goddamn am I handsome.

Rakk Country Update 1: Goddamn I love this opening

 That's right, Let's Play Some Fucking Borderlands.
Originally, I screencapped the opening, but then I realised I could just link it.

 So, that's our opening.
Here are our character choices!

So... Mordecai, Lilith, Roland, or Brick?

MB Update Fourteen: Bugs, Banquets and Hard Drugs, Oh My!

Oh man, this looks delicious.
I AM SO HUNGRY

I'm a Miss Sir, actually.  And yes.

D'you need a tissue?

...Goddammit.  I'm going to have the worst migraine by the time I'm done here.

Aaaah, Master Thadon.  I've been told to hit you up for drugs I mean help you.

Yes, drugs will do that to a man.

Oooh!  Oooh!  I bet you don't give a single fuck!

I float.  Oh yes, I float.

I'm going to regret this, aren't I?

Soooo... this Chalice...

Can't say I have.

...You... you told me it was called the Chalice.

...Uuuuhuuhhh.

Who am I damming now?

Kinky.

Just... tell me what happened.  I'd like my skull to not explode.

Your head hurts?

I'd imagine.

Something about a Chalice?

Oh gods.  I don't like where this is going.

Fuck.

Shit.

Godsdammit.

Mother of cocks.

Sure, why not.

So, basically Skooma.  Fun times!
HEY, HASKILL!

Felldew.

Got it.

Splendid.

Hmm hmm got a sword hmmm~

Shit.

DRUUUUUGS AHOOOOOOOOOOOY

Ew, it's quivering.  And full of drugs.

Oooh, Amber!  I can bring this to wosshisface for armour!

...There is 500 gold in this stump.
Who in the fuck puts five hundred drakes in a stump.

Ow.  I am in mild pain.

This is really quite painful

So much swiiimiiiing ;-;

Oh gods I can feel it in my organs

I CAN HEAR MY LIVER FAILING
THIS WAS A HORRIBLE IDEA WHY DO I EVEN LISTEN TO PEOPLE

OH GODS MY SPLEEEEEEN
IT PULSES
OH GODS WHYYYYYY

I AM ACTUALLY DYING THIS IS NOT FUN WHERE IS A GODSDAMNED FELLDEW ELYTRA OH THERE'S ONE
IMMA SNORT ALL THIS BEFORE MY LUNGS FALL OUT

Aaaah, much better.
...Ew, my nose is bleeding.

...What in the fuck.

This had better be the place or somebody is gettin' slapped.
Somebody who isn't me and is in fact Thadon.
I'm that pissed.  I will hit a fucking duke.

WHY DOES EVERYTHING WANT TO KILL ME

HAHAHA CAN'T KILL ME, I'M THE MADGOD'S CHAMPION, ASSHOLE
LEARN SOME FUCKING MANNERS.  LIKE BEING DEAD.

Oh sweet merciful crap there it is.

Now to get back ho-

...I am taking all of this booze.

Shit, an obelisk.  Gonna have to deal with this.
[INCREDIBLE ACTS OF VIOLENCE CENSORED BY ORDER OF THE TEMPLE]

...They're still there.

...Okay this is just getting absurd

HEY YOU WITH THE FACE
COME GET YOUR FUCKING CUP

Here's your cup, where's my money?

I feel incredibly pissed off.

I know that I almost puked out all my organs.  It was not exactly a good time.

Thank you.  Where's my money?  I was told I'd be rewarded.

There aren't any, are there?

FUCKING CALLED IT.
asshole