Saturday, 15 December 2012

MB Update Fourteen: Bugs, Banquets and Hard Drugs, Oh My!

Oh man, this looks delicious.
I AM SO HUNGRY
I'm a Miss Sir, actually.  And yes.
D'you need a tissue?
...Goddammit.  I'm going to have the worst migraine by the time I'm done here.
Aaaah, Master Thadon.  I've been told to hit you up for drugs I mean help you.
Yes, drugs will do that to a man.
Oooh!  Oooh!  I bet you don't give a single fuck!
I float.  Oh yes, I float.
I'm going to regret this, aren't I?
Soooo... this Chalice...
Can't say I have.
...You... you told me it was called the Chalice.
...Uuuuhuuhhh.
Who am I damming now?
Kinky.
Just... tell me what happened.  I'd like my skull to not explode.
Your head hurts?
I'd imagine.
Something about a Chalice?
Oh gods.  I don't like where this is going.
Fuck.
Shit.
Godsdammit.
Mother of cocks.
Sure, why not.
So, basically Skooma.  Fun times!
HEY, HASKILL!
Felldew.
Got it.
Splendid.
Hmm hmm got a sword hmmm~
Shit.

DRUUUUUGS AHOOOOOOOOOOOY
Ew, it's quivering.  And full of drugs.
Oooh, Amber!  I can bring this to wosshisface for armour!
...There is 500 gold in this stump.
Who in the fuck puts five hundred drakes in a stump.
Ow.  I am in mild pain.
This is really quite painful
So much swiiimiiiing ;-;
Oh gods I can feel it in my organs
I CAN HEAR MY LIVER FAILING
THIS WAS A HORRIBLE IDEA WHY DO I EVEN LISTEN TO PEOPLE
OH GODS MY SPLEEEEEEN
IT PULSES
OH GODS WHYYYYYY
I AM ACTUALLY DYING THIS IS NOT FUN WHERE IS A GODSDAMNED FELLDEW ELYTRA OH THERE'S ONE
IMMA SNORT ALL THIS BEFORE MY LUNGS FALL OUT
Aaaah, much better.
...Ew, my nose is bleeding.

...What in the fuck.
This had better be the place or somebody is gettin' slapped.
Somebody who isn't me and is in fact Thadon.
I'm that pissed.  I will hit a fucking duke.
WHY DOES EVERYTHING WANT TO KILL ME
HAHAHA CAN'T KILL ME, I'M THE MADGOD'S CHAMPION, ASSHOLE
LEARN SOME FUCKING MANNERS.  LIKE BEING DEAD.
Oh sweet merciful crap there it is.
Now to get back ho-
...I am taking all of this booze.
Shit, an obelisk.  Gonna have to deal with this.
[INCREDIBLE ACTS OF VIOLENCE CENSORED BY ORDER OF THE TEMPLE]
...They're still there.
...Okay this is just getting absurd
HEY YOU WITH THE FACE
COME GET YOUR FUCKING CUP
Here's your cup, where's my money?
I feel incredibly pissed off.
I know that I almost puked out all my organs.  It was not exactly a good time.
Thank you.  Where's my money?  I was told I'd be rewarded.
There aren't any, are there?
FUCKING CALLED IT.
asshole

1 comment:

  1. "If you get the feeling people don't like you,
    just use the dagger of friendship!"

    ReplyDelete