MB: Update Fifteen: Everybody's Coming To Get Me

 Oh, trust me.  I'm good at that.

 That is a rather, er... striking robe.

 Nope.  Sheogorath sent me.  I'm to assist in dislodging the stick from your bottom.

 I just fucking said that.  It's wedged up there deep, isn't it?

 ...What about you?  Can I trust you?

 I WONDER WHY.  Seriously, why not just kill the lot of them?
 Also, since you didn't answer my question, I'm assuming the answer is "no".

 ...Uh.  "Too easy" doesn't really matter.  If you know who they are, you should execute them.
 I mean, that's just what I'd do if I was paranoid.  Which I'm not.
I'm watching you

 So kill your way down the chain, it's not a hard concept.
 Anyways, d'you want me to get to work on that stick now?

 ...Everybody keeps secrets.  I don't think they're going to just tell them to me.

 Yes, I'd gathered.

 Alright, fine, geeze.
Ass-stick lady

 ...Pleasant.

 Hey, I'm supposed to get you to torture people, if it's not too much trouble.
 ...I wish that's the first time I've had to say that.

 You're supposed to come with me.  And, uh, thumbscrew some people, I guess.

 Yes, it's all rather kinky, isn't it?

 I'm actually only the Greater Inquisitor.  It's only a step down on the scale, and I'm expecting a promotion any day now.  Let's get going, shall we?

 Right-o.  Oh, hey, who's this guy?

 I WASN'T TALKING TO YOU, JACKASS.  WHILE YOU'RE TALKING WITHOUT GODSDAMNED PERMISSION, WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT CONSPIRACIES?

 Fuck it, Herdir?  Zap 'im.

 TOO LATE!

 AAHHAHAHAHAHAHA YES MAYBE NOW Y-what in Oblivion is wrong with me

 I'm sorry, all I hear is "Please!  Zap me again!  I love that shit!"

 ...You mean that small, twitchy girl I've seen around the palace?  I got the impression she was always like that.

 Fine!  No need to be a dick about it!
Jackass.
HEY, YOU!  TWITCHYPANTS MCANGSTYFACE!

 THEN WHY ARE YOU CONSPIRICICAMACING AGAINST HER?

 RIGHTO, HERDIR!  GET TO WORK!

 ...Who?

 ...Like, say, find this Ma'zaddha guy?
 Sounds Khajit-y.

 Oh, there will be repercussions.
I am using repercussions as a euphemism for lightning hurr durr

 ...Uh... sir?
Sir?
...Either I've been invited to join the criminal underworld of the Isles, or he was a prostitute.